The Ninth Configuration
Aug. 5th, 2020 07:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
scioscribe[Once I have proper internet again--our power is down and seems to be staying that way for a while, so S. and I have fled--I fully intend to write up all my gifts and recs from recent exchanges, because I've gotten and read some incredible stuff. But getting all the links requires more than I'm able to do at the moment. So: a review of a very weird movie, instead.]
[Movie content warnings include: attempted rape, extremely inaccurate portrayals of mental illness, terrible therapeutic ethics/practices, brief depiction of blackface, brief depiction of Nazi uniform, suicide (or at least letting oneself die), and violence.]
Amazon Prime recommended The Ninth Configuration to me, and I can only congratulate that algorithm, because yes, thank you, I would like a movie involving a mental health facility for Marines that is being run in a Gothic castle, and I would like it to also contain a biker gang and patients reenacting The Great Escape and trying to stage Shakespeare with dogs in between earnest discussions about God, and I would also like an absurdly generous portion of tender, slashy subtext. You know me so well!
I’ve been watching a ton of films lately, and, in particular, trying to film in some major gaps in my movie geek knowledge, so I could blog about any number of thoughtful, well-crafted, artistically significant films, but instead, I’m going to talk about The Ninth Configuration, because it features an adorable Komondor and also a poster explaining what to do with a banana.
The whole first half of the movie is bananas, presumably to account for the poster. Kane, Stacy Keach, arrives as the new psychiatrist at the aforementioned Gothic castle/Marine mental hospital (because everyone’s mental health is improved by being surrounded by gargoyles! And castles are so common here in North America!). He gets to know the patients and decides to enable them. (Including allowing a brief, backgrounded blackface performance, which may be a dealbreaker.) And throughout this, he is Sad. It’s basically wacky hijinks + someone wandering in and doing something inexplicable + dialogue generated by throwing magnetic poetry at the fridge and seeing what sticks + Kane looking sad and soulful.
Eventually, he has a debate with a patient, Cutshaw, about the existence of God. Cutshaw insists on referring to God as “Foot.” Kane believes the existence of good in the world means that there is a God, Cutshaw says that all the goodness in the world is inherently selfish anyway, and somehow this gradually transforms into Cutshaw asking Kane if he actually knows anyone who has selflessly sacrificed his own life to save someone else, because Cutshaw thinks all accounts of it are made up. Kane is sadly silent. But if he could prove that someone had sacrificed themselves, that would prove the existence of God! I believe in God, and I still think this is a terrible argument. But of course it would have to be, because it’s predicated on the belief that all atheists are cynical and joyless people who have been embittered by life. A little standard-issue Movie Atheism to go with your standard-issue (perrachelmanija) Movie Madness.
But then they have this heartbreaking little exchange where Cutshaw says, “If you die before me, and there’s an afterlife, will you send me a sign?” and Kane gravely says, “I’ll try,” and then I suddenly shipped it and the movie became 3000% more interesting.
It gradually emerges that Kane has a Dark Secret, which is why he is Sad, although he doesn’t know it, because he’s blocked it out. As is the case with fully half of all movie psychiatrists, Kane is actually—gasp!—a patient himself! He’s been given a fake position of authority as part of his treatment! And the hospital is really being run by his brother, who desperately wants to help him! Kane adopted the brother’s identity as a healer to try to make up for having taken lives! “It all makes sense now,” said absolutely no one.
The point of this is just to get you to the fact that Cutshaw is then horribly disappointed in the truth about Kane and goes out drinking to try to deal with it. The only bar near the castle is populated by a biker gang with a thorough commitment to eyeliner; the bikers decide to torment Cutshaw, dumping beer on him and shoving him around. Kane shows up to rescue him, and suddenly I ship it like burning, because you DO NOT FUCK WITH KANE’S BOYFRIEND. Kane tries to defuse the situation peacefully, even humiliating himself by licking up beer off the floor as part of a deal to get the bikers to stop and let them leave, but nothing works. Then one of the bikers tries to rape Cutshaw and Kane massacres them gloriously, and I still can’t believe this isn’t fic. Later, there is tender hair-stroking, and Kane says, “I love—” before passing out. Except he’s actually dead, because he either killed himself or allowed himself to die of the barfight injuries! And he left a note saying he was killing himself in the hopes that his death would shock Cutshaw out of his trauma, thus proving that people can selflessly sacrifice themselves! Cutshaw realizes what happened and bridal-carries Kane down the stairs.
Movie trauma is like movie amnesia—one knock to the head gives you amnesia, the next one cures it, therefore Cutshaw is cured by having more trauma happen to him. Because it’s always stabilizing to have a man you deeply loved kill himself for you, I guess. We flash forward, and Cutshaw revisits the castle—it’s now empty, and he’s now clean-shaven and back in uniform—and we get at least two more epic bits of shippiness that I won’t spoil despite having spoiled everything else, because something should still be a surprise.
This movie is deeply strange and a patchwork quilt of about fifteen different genres, but once it became the Epic Love Story of Kane and Cutshaw, Sad Trauma Boyfriends, I went from boggling at it to kind of loving it. I can’t fully recommend it, but if none of the above is a turn-off for you and the Kane/Cutshaw relationship sounds like your cup of tea, I’d kind of still recommend it anyway.
[Movie content warnings include: attempted rape, extremely inaccurate portrayals of mental illness, terrible therapeutic ethics/practices, brief depiction of blackface, brief depiction of Nazi uniform, suicide (or at least letting oneself die), and violence.]
Amazon Prime recommended The Ninth Configuration to me, and I can only congratulate that algorithm, because yes, thank you, I would like a movie involving a mental health facility for Marines that is being run in a Gothic castle, and I would like it to also contain a biker gang and patients reenacting The Great Escape and trying to stage Shakespeare with dogs in between earnest discussions about God, and I would also like an absurdly generous portion of tender, slashy subtext. You know me so well!
I’ve been watching a ton of films lately, and, in particular, trying to film in some major gaps in my movie geek knowledge, so I could blog about any number of thoughtful, well-crafted, artistically significant films, but instead, I’m going to talk about The Ninth Configuration, because it features an adorable Komondor and also a poster explaining what to do with a banana.
The whole first half of the movie is bananas, presumably to account for the poster. Kane, Stacy Keach, arrives as the new psychiatrist at the aforementioned Gothic castle/Marine mental hospital (because everyone’s mental health is improved by being surrounded by gargoyles! And castles are so common here in North America!). He gets to know the patients and decides to enable them. (Including allowing a brief, backgrounded blackface performance, which may be a dealbreaker.) And throughout this, he is Sad. It’s basically wacky hijinks + someone wandering in and doing something inexplicable + dialogue generated by throwing magnetic poetry at the fridge and seeing what sticks + Kane looking sad and soulful.
Eventually, he has a debate with a patient, Cutshaw, about the existence of God. Cutshaw insists on referring to God as “Foot.” Kane believes the existence of good in the world means that there is a God, Cutshaw says that all the goodness in the world is inherently selfish anyway, and somehow this gradually transforms into Cutshaw asking Kane if he actually knows anyone who has selflessly sacrificed his own life to save someone else, because Cutshaw thinks all accounts of it are made up. Kane is sadly silent. But if he could prove that someone had sacrificed themselves, that would prove the existence of God! I believe in God, and I still think this is a terrible argument. But of course it would have to be, because it’s predicated on the belief that all atheists are cynical and joyless people who have been embittered by life. A little standard-issue Movie Atheism to go with your standard-issue (per
rachelmanija) Movie Madness.But then they have this heartbreaking little exchange where Cutshaw says, “If you die before me, and there’s an afterlife, will you send me a sign?” and Kane gravely says, “I’ll try,” and then I suddenly shipped it and the movie became 3000% more interesting.
It gradually emerges that Kane has a Dark Secret, which is why he is Sad, although he doesn’t know it, because he’s blocked it out. As is the case with fully half of all movie psychiatrists, Kane is actually—gasp!—a patient himself! He’s been given a fake position of authority as part of his treatment! And the hospital is really being run by his brother, who desperately wants to help him! Kane adopted the brother’s identity as a healer to try to make up for having taken lives! “It all makes sense now,” said absolutely no one.
The point of this is just to get you to the fact that Cutshaw is then horribly disappointed in the truth about Kane and goes out drinking to try to deal with it. The only bar near the castle is populated by a biker gang with a thorough commitment to eyeliner; the bikers decide to torment Cutshaw, dumping beer on him and shoving him around. Kane shows up to rescue him, and suddenly I ship it like burning, because you DO NOT FUCK WITH KANE’S BOYFRIEND. Kane tries to defuse the situation peacefully, even humiliating himself by licking up beer off the floor as part of a deal to get the bikers to stop and let them leave, but nothing works. Then one of the bikers tries to rape Cutshaw and Kane massacres them gloriously, and I still can’t believe this isn’t fic. Later, there is tender hair-stroking, and Kane says, “I love—” before passing out. Except he’s actually dead, because he either killed himself or allowed himself to die of the barfight injuries! And he left a note saying he was killing himself in the hopes that his death would shock Cutshaw out of his trauma, thus proving that people can selflessly sacrifice themselves! Cutshaw realizes what happened and bridal-carries Kane down the stairs.
Movie trauma is like movie amnesia—one knock to the head gives you amnesia, the next one cures it, therefore Cutshaw is cured by having more trauma happen to him. Because it’s always stabilizing to have a man you deeply loved kill himself for you, I guess. We flash forward, and Cutshaw revisits the castle—it’s now empty, and he’s now clean-shaven and back in uniform—and we get at least two more epic bits of shippiness that I won’t spoil despite having spoiled everything else, because something should still be a surprise.
This movie is deeply strange and a patchwork quilt of about fifteen different genres, but once it became the Epic Love Story of Kane and Cutshaw, Sad Trauma Boyfriends, I went from boggling at it to kind of loving it. I can’t fully recommend it, but if none of the above is a turn-off for you and the Kane/Cutshaw relationship sounds like your cup of tea, I’d kind of still recommend it anyway.
The man in the moon tried to fuck my sister!
Date: 2020-08-05 11:28 pm (UTC)Excellent writeup of the Kane/Cutshaw love affair though. ;) I ship it.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-08-05 11:34 pm (UTC)Re: The man in the moon tried to fuck my sister!
Date: 2020-08-05 11:35 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-08-05 11:37 pm (UTC)And the book's original working title was Twinkle Twinkle, "Killer" Kane!, complete with exclamation mark.
EDIT: When Kane kills himself as a wake up call for Cutshaw, I emailed Rachel to say, "This is a Jack Harkness-level move."
GOOD MORNING, YOU FUCKING VENUSIANS!
Date: 2020-08-05 11:43 pm (UTC)I feel that Sir Laurence cannot be fully explained without video. I could have watched him trundling along like he was on treads for two and a half hours, and been content.
Go inoculate a fucking armadillo!
Date: 2020-08-05 11:46 pm (UTC)The jet pack actually flies.
Also, we both forgot the opening song, which is a John Denver-esque homey melody that belongs in a COMPLETELY different movie.
Re: GOOD MORNING, YOU FUCKING VENUSIANS!
Date: 2020-08-05 11:47 pm (UTC)...You know, I'm not sue any of this can be fully explained without video. You cannot explain The Ninth Configuration, you can only witness it.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-08-06 11:48 pm (UTC)I haven't even seen this movie (here via
(no subject)
Date: 2020-08-07 12:04 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-08-07 01:25 am (UTC)WOW
Count Dracula approves this message
written by Dr Seward(no subject)
Date: 2020-08-07 07:22 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-08-12 04:41 am (UTC)LMAO omg thanks for this review!! THE BIT WHERE ONE OF THE BIKERS TRIES TO RAPE HIM. THE BRIDAL CARRY. So ficcy.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-08-15 10:11 pm (UTC)Were they Gay Bejeweled Nazi Bikers of Gor??
I've read this writeup and Rachel's, and I can't say I want to see it but I can say I'm glad you shared this deep weirdness with us all.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-08-16 04:43 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-08-16 04:43 pm (UTC)